Wandering Jello

Do’s:

*must be able to stay up late, get wasted and cry about childhood

i miss astoria

Floridians as interested in apple pie as orgies

http://valleywag.com/5019572/now-we-know-thanks-to-google-floridians-as-interested-in-apple-pie-as-orgies

Interesting use of Google for the defense in a lawsuit..

the apocolypse

So this was someone’s (jfischer) comment on a story at consumerist, but it made me laugh:

Just before “Y2K” was supposed to destroy civilization, I was asked by many of my neighbors if they should stockpile food and water as I was the local high-tech wizard, and was supposed to know all about the situation. I told them “Yes, you should!”

They asked me what specific items I was stockpiling, and I answered “Just guns and ammo”.

They asked me why I wasn’t stockpiling any food and water for myself, and I said “You will have the food and water, and I will have guns and ammo.”

They blanched. I laughed.

paperdenim&cloth

so I bought a pair of jeans the other day for $40 on sale.. marked down from $160. I just found the tag lying around, and after actually reading it, two things stood out to me:

Under the “Construction” category of features: “Each pair individually numbered.” Since when do clothes have serial numbers? Have I just never spent enough on a pair of jeans to realize this?

Under the “Wet Process Applications” category: “Average processing time: 6.2 hours” (this after listing a few different hand-applied processes). At least they’re made in USA.. so I know it wasn’t Chinese child labor that did the work.

5 second rule

So after meeting emily at a bar with a giant pig out front, so she could retrieve her now broken, yet still functional phone, we stopped at a store to buy beer and candy. And later on as we’re waiting on the N/W platform at times square, and I’m eating M&M’s, one of them falls on the ground and starts to roll away. So I quickly pick it up and look around, only there’s no trashcans nearby. It’s still intact, except for a tiny piece of the shell that chipped off. I look at emily, and ask if i should eat it. She says I should. So I do. And then she yells at me for eating something off the floor of the times square subway station.  We both decide if I’m sick/dead in the morning, we’ll know why. (this did not happen today, so I did in fact survive the night)

word of advice

when you go to bed sometime between 1 and 2, and have your alarm set for 3, use the snooze function. don’t turn it off. especially when you’re trying to catch a cab to the airport. and don’t want the cab company calling an hour after your alarm to be your wakeup call.